I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You're like the curious george of whores
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
