remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
