hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
