You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
