Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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