Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
