You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I did not marry a roomba.
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