I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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