hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
