I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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