We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
