My brain says no but my pants say off.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
