I feel great
I just peed on a car
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
