yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
