i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
