Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
