have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
