I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
