I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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