Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
