so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
