Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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