i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have fence marks all over my body
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
