3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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