Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
