I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
