4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
