birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
