For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
