There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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