Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
