hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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