what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
