Quick, to the slutcave!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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