i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
