Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
