She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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