for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
