I puked a lego.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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