he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
