I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
