I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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