your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
