I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
