trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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