I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
