Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
