A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
