He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
