the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
