I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
