Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
