the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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